You refuse to bf, bb..

After yesterday episode, you refuse to latch on at all...both side. We were having hard time trying to latch you on and mommy is exhausted...both physically and mentally. You ended up consuming ebm and fm the whole day. Mommy broke down today...feeling so tired. It was so hard for us to establish the bond and trust to latch you on on left but mommy broke the trust by letting someone force you on mommy's right breast. So sorry..bb.....mommy just couldn't understand why you refuse to latch on? why are you keep sticking your tongue out?

First latch on the right by force...

Today the lactation consultant came and force you to latch on the right breast. Sorry bb...I know they are very rough...you cried for almost 25mins but finally you we're manage to latch on. For the first time, you emptied mommy's right breast.
Later, aunt Christine did the same thing to force you to latch on...you cried for another 20mins... It was hard for mommy to see you cry..mommy didn't want you to cry ...mommy wanted to give up many times but aunts Christine refuse to give up, again you succeeded to latch on again. Yes..you did it, bb..

Jaundice

Bb...you are having breastmilk jaundice. Your initial jaundice level was 258, dropped to 255 today. No need phototherapy. But you do look quite yellowish. Mommy fed you some formula milk, thinking to help you reduce your jaundice level but aunts Christine said breast milk jaundice is ok...won't cause any harm on you..so mommy continue feeding you bm.

Finally latch on on the left

Yes...yes.... You finally able to latch on on mommy's left breast. You are great, bb... We can do it...

Sorry Bb...

Mommy broke down today..after coming back from checkup. Mommy felt so sorry for you that you have jaundice, though not high until require phototherapy. Mommy also feel so bad that let you cry till your belly button pop up, though doc said it will subside in a month or two, nothing to worry. Mommy feel so sorry that you cant latch on to mommy breast, how to bf you like that? For the first time, mommy is so worried to bring you out coz I have no formula milk to bring out, you were spoon feeding in the center and I can't get you to latch on to get milk...feel so insecure...

Hard day

It was such a hard time getting you to latch on. Your tongue kept sticking out to push mommy's nipple away. You cried a lot...so sorry, my dear...you cried every single latch...until your belly button pop out. Mommy feels so bad every time see you cry...heartache..

First latch on..

This morning you finally managed to latch on to mommy's breast...the feeling is incredible...the bond with you...I feel we are so inseparable...

Born

The minute I see you I fall in love with you....my princess...you just looked like your gor gor. Your voice is loud and you do look like a boy. The only word I can use to describe you is CUTE... The only feeling I have towards you is to love you endlessly and protect you forever...I love you, baby!